When a Picture Destroys a Thousand Deeds

A picture has been circulating on social media of Princess Haya bint Al Hussein with her brother Prince Ali bin Al Hussein. The siblings are the offspring of late King Hussein of Jordan, and their brother is King Abdullah of Jordan. Princess Haya is married to the Ruler of Dubai, Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum – a prominent political and business figure.

Owing to marital disputes, the princess left the United Arab Emirates and sought refuge in the United Kingdom to initiate divorce procedures. Clearly, she would not have been able to launch such procedures in the UAE or in any other neighbouring Arab country, mainly owing to political pressures, bias towards male spouses in most Arab civil case-law, and lengthy, complicated, flexible, and opaque procedures. The decision to leave the oil rich Emirati nation was brave, intelligent, and reflective of a high level of determination, integrity and self-respect.

Nonetheless, that is what one expects of a princess. After all, she was raised by a King and a Queen, shared her childhood with fellow princes and princesses, received the best education, and was empowered through social and political links that have been fostered throughout the years. Her profile as a descendent of a royal family, an Olympics champion, wife of a political and business figure, extreme wealth, and a very active personality  that allowed her to spear national and regional social support programmes speak volumes for the strong, independent, and powerful woman she is.

This begs the following question: why did she allow such a picture with her sibling be circulated in the media? Why did she resort to playing on the sentimental – yet patriarchal – drive of Jordanians (and the Arab public in general) to win sympathy? Why does she need sympathy in the first place? Leaning on the shoulder of her brother for protection might have inspired a tender feeling of brotherly love and family protection – but it also entrenched an already deep-rooted conviction of the power and role played by male figures in Arab societies. The man is the protector…the defender…your shield from life….your strength.

I would understand the picture had it been the case of a battered, impoverished, and uneducated woman whose only consolation in life and source of security is the male figure who will protect her. However, a woman of her calibre, intelligence, resources and strength does not need that. In spite of the difficult psychological pain she must be going through, now is the opportunity to show her true colours and stand tall in proving to men what a true woman’s strength and wisdom are all about. Now is the time to pose with a strong and powerful smile. Now is the time to tell all unhappy and mistreated women, that no, it is possible to fight back -even if that means fighting one of the most powerful men across the globe.

I would have liked to see a picture of the princess basked in the love of her family - which we all need- brothers, sisters, aunts and friends included. I would have liked to see picture that exudes strength and victory and defiance to the tradition of female subjugation. I would have liked to see a rebellious princess that went all the way with her plan to show her true valour.

That picture might have softened hearts and spurred warm sentiments of brotherly and fatherly protection…but it also killed in one simple pose what many women – herself included – built throughout the years. Women can be - and are -  strong independent individuals. We can make it on our own, and we do not need a male figure to protect us.

A weak side might win her legal battle, but it would definitely mean that the bigger battle of changing convictions and leading change was lost with a snap.

Note: I am writing this post on the memory of late father’s birthday. Today we would have been eating cake and complaining about the heat. A Habjouqa tradition that never dies. I miss my father, who was a source of strength and still is – a type of strength that is based on believing in one’s self and one’s principles. Not the weak, dependent strength.